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One Side: Beth

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me being her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest helping her make content.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an audience. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the details, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, giving her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the work we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not everyone enjoys being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal videographer, but companions help each other in small ways. My assumption was filming a short video now and then would be fun for Beth. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She needs to respect her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some real experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their bond?